If It Was Socially Acceptable I Would Muzzle This Man

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What a good man. He’s easy going, down for anything, affectionate and full of love but seriously if I could, I would muzzle him. Just shut the fuck up. I’m sorry. I know that sounds mean but he’s non-stop. Seriously! When I say non-stop I mean continuously talking until you say something back (if you get a chance that is). Even then he will talk over you. At times the most random, awkward, no-fucks-given comments come out of his mouth that make my mind blank. No words. I’m sure I wear it on my face like “Umm, excuse me?”. I really don’t know what to say. You know when someone says something and you express how you don’t like what they said or you let them know it made you uncomfortable? Usually you get a “I’m sorry” or they simply change the subject. Nope…not this man. He repeats himself, continues on the topic and will poke at the topic until it’s completely exhausted and you’re so annoyed, you wish you had an eject button for his seat. I truly feel bad feeling this way sometimes but it’s just too much. I don’t even know how to react to awkward moments such as the ones he causes.

I’ve had a few friends tell me to just be open and honest and tell him when it gets awkward. Friends, I love you for your advice but I HAVE TRIED THIS. I don’t want to not hangout with someone because of something so small such as this but it’s becoming a bigger issue as I talk about it. Children are the only ones allowed to have those moments of “oh no hunnie don’t say that”. Not a grown ass man who’s almost 40. Shit! Is he 40 already? No clue but whatever age he’s at, it’s got to stop. I’m not in a relationship with him, we are strictly platonic and I enjoy most of the time I have with him but when that awkward moment comes, it’s like nothing else happened except that moment right there. The one that hits you unexpectedly and you want to strap the muzzle on.

Shut it. No really…SHUT IT! You’re adorable and sweet but just don’t. I beg of you. Think before you speak my friend. Think of how you might answer or respond to the things you ask and say. We all have our moments where we just blurt shit out but to always be this way just doesn’t make sense. It’s like I’m always on the rag when he talks because I feel the annoyance when he opens his mouth and it honestly hurts my heart. Am I the biggest bitch or what? I don’t know any of his friends so I can’t say I’m alone in this but the stories I have, I promise, are not made up. I know with my personality there are times when I say shit and people think “yea ok Jodi” and I’m ok with that. I feel confident in who I am so maybe that’s how he feels too. Maybe he gives no fucks and just rolls with whatever comes to mind. I do pray that if someone ever feels this way about me they tell me. Damn…now I have to tell him how it is. Right? Right! It’s the nice thing to do.